God didn’t call me to be honest,

My life in the past few years has been quite the rolar coaster. Not anything like the superman ride at sixflags or anything,  and maybe not even a rolar coaster. Maybe just a ride like the tea cups. It’s quite exciting, with ebs and flows, but in the wrong circumstances can just be nauseating and feel like you’re going around in circles and as you see others enjoying it, you feel it must cause joy but it just feels like pain and pointless. 

2015 felt a lot like the tea cups in the best way possible! Seeing things that were hurtful, finding freedom, learning, growing, asking people for foregiveness, discovering gifts and passions, seeing people healed right in front of me in Jesus name from prayers of others and prayers of my own and so much more exciting stuff! Yea, I got bumped around a little bit, and it wasn’t all flower peddles and gumdrops, but I expected that! That was no big deal. Besides, how could I even think to complain in a situation like that when everything else is just freedom upon freedom.

2014-15 was such a growing time for me. What I learned from disshonesty and hiding things and all kinds of stuff in 2014, and from a lot of decipleship moments through Carry the Love tour and 21 project (two places I really learned a lot from different people. Google them if you’ve never heard of them, they’re awesome.) through fasting, praying and church family; from all that, I learned the importance of honesty. 

I LEARNED THE IMPORTANCE OF HOESTY

I learned that honesty was a wonderful thing that frees us from bondage. It gives others the opportunity to pray for me and encourage me. What I learned in 2016 is that honesty can be a destruction from movement. 

HONESTY CAN BE A DESTRACTION FROM MOVEMENT

2016 has been a lot like those tea cups after you just ate a cheese stake and fries and you know you shouldn’t have eaten the fries, but you did, because you paid for them and you couldn’t find it in your heart to throw them away. In 2015, I replaced a lot of troubles with honest change. In 2016, I replaced a lot of my troubles with honesty. 

Now I’m here, aproaching 2017 with a lot of excuses, a lot of honest moment, few moments of progress and a splash or two of shame. In this coming year, I don’t want to just expose my problems or talk about them. I don’t want to just open up about doubts or fears or temptations or love. I want to be stay honest about them, and then take the next step: change. 

It’s time I put my struggles and hardships in the thrash can and not the recycling bin. I know more will come, but I’d rather conquer a thousand devils through the power of Jesus then let myself get hung up on 2 or 3 problems over and over again.

I’m not called to be honest, I’m called to be Holy. 

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